Rabbi's Corner

One of my favorite passages of Talmud appears in Masechet Berachot on page 58a:

Ben Zoma would say: A good guest, what does he say? "How much effort did the host expend on my behalf! How much meat did the host bring before me! How much wine did he bring before me! How many loaves did he bring before me! All the effort that he expended, he expended only for me!"

However, a bad guest, what does he say? "What effort did the host expend? I ate only one piece of bread. I ate only one piece of meat, and I drank only one cup of wine. All the effort that the home owner expended he only expended on behalf of his wife and children."

I often find myself thinking about this passage at this time of year, a time when many of us find ourselves at someone else's table, or with our tables full of guests. I wonder, are both of Ben Zoma's guests at the same gathering? Are they seeing the same feast? It certainly seems that way--there is the same menu of meat, wine, and bread. What differs is not the table, the quality of the food thereupon, or even the host--what differs is the attitude of the guest. And in that difference of attitude, there is also a difference of how much each enjoys it. 

One treats the experience as mundane, their own presence as immaterial.

The other sees the experience as exceptional, and feels grateful and blessed to be a part of it. 

This Thanksgiving, as you sit down to a gathering of family and friends, I hope that it is both comfortable and familiar, but that it also feels exceptional. I hope that you experience joy at the opportunity to be with every other person who sits down around you. I hope that your meal is worthy of marveling. 

May we all experience the joy of gratitude.